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Thank You Card Etiquette

As good as it feels for your guests to receive your wedding invitation, it feels even better when they receive a thank you note for the wedding gift they gave you. A thank you note is a must for your wedding gifts. Here are tips on the thank you card etiquette.

Purchase your thank you cards at the same time you purchase your invitations.

The thank you cards range in price depending on what design and size of card you want to get. Some cards have special cuts for a wedding picture that you may insert after your wedding or for guest that you thank before the wedding, you may use your engagement photo.

Get extra thank you cards.

You may recieve more gifts than you expect and from people other than just the ones invited to your wedding.

When should the notes be sent out?

Simply speaking, ASAP. The sooner the better but as a rule of thumb within three months of your wedding day. You will likely receive some gifts before your wedding, in this case, you might want to send the thank you note before your wedding day.

Keep track of who gave you what.

Separate the gifts that you received from people who were at your wedding and people who weren't. It's also very tempting to just come home to a whole lot of gifts and open them all at once. But before you rip the paper and open the envelopes, get a piece of paper and a pen. Write down each gift and who it is from. Make sure you write down every name if there are more than one person that gave you that gift.

Send separate thank you cards for showers and weddings.

Some people will not only give you a gift at your wedding shower but also at your wedding. It is nicer to thank for each gift separately even if the gifts were given with a short period in between.

A wedding thank you note should be hand written and personalized.

Your gift giver most likely put a lot of thought and effort into getting you a gift that will be special to both of you when you get married. Instead of buying ready-made thank you notes that are the same for everyone, personalize them by mentioning the gift you are thanking them for. It will make the gift giver feel special if you tell them how much you appreciate their gift.

Make reference to what you will use the gift for.

An example would be, "Thank you for the awesome coffee maker, it will make waking up for work each day a lot easier." or "Thank you so much for the beautiful painting that will lighten and cheer up our living room."

Thank the giver for any extra effort they made for you.

Your guests may be out of town or they may have helped in a small way at your wedding. You may even thank them for just being there and having fun. If your gift giver was not able to attend the wedding, mention how sorry you are they weren't able to attend.

Send thank you notes to people that helped with the wedding, shower(s), and parties.

The host(s) of your wedding shower(s) have gone through great lengths to plan your wedding shower. Show them how much you appreciate their great effort. Send a thank you note to the minister and master of ceremony. Don't forget to send thank you notes for work well done to wedding vendors. This will make them feel like their work has been noticed and appreciated by you.

Don't mention the amount of money you received in your thank you note.

Even if the gift giver gave you hundreds of dollars, its best to just say "Thank you for your generous and thoughtful gift that will help us start our lives together." You may even mention what the money might be used for that help BOTH of you, such as "Your generous gift has helped us get a car" or "...has helped us with our down payment for our house".

When a group of people pitch in for one gift.

If the group consisted of ten or less than ten people, send a separate thank you note to each person. If the gift came from more than ten people or from your co-workers, send one thank you card. It would also be appropriate to then thank each one separately in person when the occasion arises.

Who signs the thank you card?

The person that is writing the card should sign it but the spouses name should also be included in the note. You can say, "Chris and I are enjoying your gift..." or "Sarah and I really like your gift...".

Is it ok to say thank you through email?

Not for wedding gifts. If you really want your gift givers to feel appreciated, it's best to let the person feel that you actually put some time and thought into thanking them for their gift. It's always more rewarding to receive a personalized thank you card in the mail rather than a quick one over the internet.

Do I still need to send a thank you note if I thanked them verbally or over the phone?

Yes, you should send out a thank you note regardless of any verbal thank yous. It would be easy to just call everyone up and thank them over the phone. But getting a thank you card in the mail will make them feel that you appreciate the time and effort they put into picking out your gift.

Remember, a simple thank you is better than no thank you at all. Keep it short, simple, and sweet but make it from the heart.

Follow up article: Writting a Thank You Card

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